Some relationships are full of excuses such as sorry I forgot our anniversary; I’ll buy you something next year, let it slide, it’s not my fault. Have you also used these excuses in a relationship? Or maybe you know someone who uses them quite often. Let me show you the harsh mirror that it’s us running from our responsibilities. It’s because making excuses sounds much easier than self-accountability.
Here are just a few ways you can start TO BE more accountable in your relationship and thrive together as a couple.
Table of contents
1. Be honest with yourself.
We all should know how important it is to love ourselves. When you are in a relationship, love yourself the most. Loving means taking care of yourself, being honest, and being kind to yourself. Let yourself feel the emotion; don’t let a negative outlook take over you. If something is bothering you be honest about it and try to have a positive conversation with your partner.
It’s not only about being honest. It’s about giving yourself and your partner importance that you actually want to take all the possible measures to become a better person. It’s not as easy as it sounds, but for the sake of a healthy relationship with yourself and your partner, you do all these tasks.
2. Control your emotions.
Usually, when people are talking about something where they share a different perspective. They don’t respect each other’s point of view, which leads to fights. It won’t be wrong to say that people usually are not familiar with the concept of putting yourself in another person’s shoes. Believing that your opinion is right and another person is always wrong is a toxic trait.
Change the way you think; whenever you get angry during a relationship, take deep breaths or count to ten. Let your anger cool down. When you are angry, there are 99% chances that you will fail to see the rational side of the situation.
3. Forgive and let go.
Forgiving others isn’t easy. We as human beings tend to hold a grudge which is unhealthy. It not only affects other people, but it also breaks us. A healthy relationship is where instead of playing a blame game, both people understand that as human beings, we make mistakes. No one is perfect, and accepting others as their imperfect self is a sign of love.
4. Acceptance your partner’s flaws.
Don’t tell your partner that their emotions are invalid. Every person responds to situations differently. There is no guarantee that all people will observe the same thing. An event might be too traumatic for someone and could cause hem to react in an unusual way. However, for someone else, this event means nothing. Accept and understand your emotions and forgive yourself. You aren’t overreacting.
5.Consider speaking to a therapist.
It’s always a good practice to keep any issues you have with your partner between you and them but there does come a time where a third party might get involved. Seeking the guidance of a professional couple’s therapist could help resolve the tension a couple is facing in their relationship. Therapists are the most ideal person a couple should reach out to since they are highly trained to remain neutral and share particle advice.
It might be more tempting to reach out to a family member or friends, since you are closer to them but this might cause more issues. When someone is already emotionally connected to you and you share your problem they tend to take your side. This can also create a division them and your partner.
In Conclusion
In easy words, self-accountability is a blame game. We use it to blame circumstances, people, and everyone else for our failures. We put a blind eye to our mistakes, feel unlucky and become negative. However, the only thing we can control is our behavior, action, and words. We have no control over outside circumstances; blaming will only lead to feeling helpless.
Another definition of self-accountability is also respecting your goals and ambitions. You believe in your capabilities to achieve a specific goal. You know that it’s necessary for you to remain consistent in order to see long-term results. There is no need to criticize you during the journey. However, seeing your mistakes and learning from them is a part of the process.