Our lives are filled with messages about how we can be happy and live a slower-paced and contented life. Alongside the positive messages of being present and well, there are contradicting statements about how we should all have it all, and be everything to everyone. It’s a push and pull that constantly clashes within us, the choices that we make, and how we live our days. Most everyone wants to have it all and being present simultaneously. But the question here is not “is it possible?” It’s actually, is that what we want?
On the face of it, of course, we want it all! How dare you even ask… But if “having it all” means doing it all and no matter how much we enjoy the payoff, we will most likely be disappointed. We need peace, contentment, and comfort to feel good in our lives. What if having it all is not all it’s cracked up to be? What if having less while being intentional is the thing we need? Because we are all yearning for change, to slow down, to live instead of watching life pass us by. So, how do we make a change? How do we get off the busy train and still feel like worthwhile human beings? We change our mindset (another buzzword), taking small steps until we’re proud. All of those cheesy affirmations on Pinterest are right; we are enough. It’s time we walk around living like we are.
Growth Mindset
Our mindset dictates the perspective from which we see the world. If we are afraid, stressed, and worried often, our world will be stressful, scary, and bleak. It’s not that it’s some magic; it’s just that we pay attention to what we spend all of our time thinking about.
This means that our mindset is essential to making a change within ourselves and our lives. Focus on growth and see yourself starting to grow. Focus on healing and see yourself begin to heal. Focus on joy, and you will see yourself becoming joyful. This isn’t easy, and it doesn’t happen overnight.
It takes a conscious change in how we process our environment. Sometimes it helps to talk with others about how they see the world. Do you know an optimist? Talk with them enough, and you may become optimistic too. A healthy mindset is catching.
Self-Talk & Opportunity
Mindset is often influenced by the internal dialogue in our minds. It’s tough to develop a growth mindset when constantly degrading and berating yourself inside. Many of us have this idea that we have to be harsh with ourselves to motivate and achieve. There is nothing further from the truth.
Many of us also think that if we are kind and patient with ourselves, we will start to let everything slip and end up destitute. Being hard on ourselves is a surefire way to burn ourselves without outside assistance. It’s not working for us; let’s try something different.
Change the negativity in your mind and become your friend. When you are your friend, you can see opportunities open up in front of you. You can see life differently and motivate yourself by doing rather than waiting for motivation to strike you because it rarely does. When we are kind to ourselves and open to opportunities around us, Our lives can’t help but change.
Self-Worth & The Busy Train
Making all of the above changes means we will start feeling the sting of our value as a person. After all, it is so often intertwined with our productivity, and our work that beginning to let go of those things and grow in passion feels like being lazy or irresponsible.
I don’t believe in laziness. If the pandemic has taught us anything, it should be that we are all doing the best that we can every day. Another thing is that we don’t have to be busy to be happy. Read that again. Our value is not only in what we can accomplish; it is within who we are and how we show up in the world.
Our self-worth is found in who we are and the things that light us up. When we are our best, we can do our best, which is where all of the human value lies. The funny thing about it is that being busy keeps us from showing up as our best selves. We may think that running from morning to night makes us important and valuable, but it just makes us tired. What could we do for ourselves, our families, our friends if we did less and showed up more?
Our Values & Personal Mission
To change from being busy to doing less to being more, we must examine our values. What is essential for us to be healthy, well, and whole, just filler? If we are concentrating on being busy, everything seems vital.
This is why we are running from morning to when we go to bed. When we take a step back, we can see that only some of the things we pour ourselves into are important to us. We all need the things that give us energy and recharge us, and they are often the first things that we let go of. There is no way to be a whole and well person if we always put off the things that keep us going.
We will once again burn ourselves down if we are living that way. Our mission begins with who we are in the world, what we do, and why we do it. If something doesn’t fit in that personal mission, it needs to change. When we know our unique mission, we can make decisions more accessible and put our energy in more important places. We become happier, healthier, and we grow our peace and calm.
Make Living A Priority
How do all of these things look wrapped up in life? They look like they are focusing on only the priority. Notice that importance is singular, meaning one thing at a time. This allows us to be intentional. Weeding out the noise in life supports this and helps us stay on track.
When we permit ourselves to do the things that bring us joy, we start to find our peace and feel content, and we have more energy to give to those around us. When we are clear about our values and personal mission, we know what to do and how to do it. We get to know ourselves, and we can be kind to ourselves.
When we change the way we see the world, we find opportunities we never dreamed of having. This means we stop hustling, stop grinding, and we live. We are excited to wake up each morning, and we live in fulfillment. Small changes over time make such a huge difference.
Given all of this may sound simplistic. There may be a lot of pushback about how this works; when we are stressed, frustrated, and burning out all day every day, it’s time to try a different way of looking at life, living, and the world around us. Not everything is within our control, and there are firm barriers in many of the systems we live in. But even the most complicated things change over time primarily because of how we react to them. If we are pouring into ourselves, kind towards ourselves, and finding peace in who we are, we build our support in a harsh world. Focus on the joy, and you will find the joy.